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Does she love an obscure movie that you’ve also seen? Is she doing a degree in a subject that you have knowledge about?

Find something that you can grab hold of and use, whether that’s a specific piece of information or just a vibe you’re getting. It’s hard to figure someone out based on just a few words and a picture or two, but you have to learn to go with your instincts.

With regards to messaging men, don’t be overly flirtatious as that can immediately set off their BS detector.

Instead, give a man a non-sexual compliment and show interest in something from his profile.

The best way to demonstrate sincerity is to write your main bio in a loose conversational manner without trying to “big” yourself up.

This isn’t a CV; you aren’t auditioning for anyone, so don’t write it like you are trying to impress. Don’t be afraid of telling people who you are and what you love doing.

The following tips are for both men and women and they will hopefully spare you some of the failures that I went through.

Many online dating articles and products will try to convince you that what you write for your first message is the most important skill you will ever learn. For sure, what you write in your opening message and in your profile will dictate a lot of your success with online dating, but the single biggest factor is how someone responds to your profile picture. While your opening message’s content will determine if someone clicks through to your profile, it’s that little thumbnail image that will determine if they open the message at all.

Online dating is exactly the same as meeting someone the conventional way—it’s purely a numbers game and the quicker you realise this, the better.

I’ve made countless errors, put up stupid pictures, sent even stupider messages and had “sure things” vanish into thin air.

It’s this experience, however, that has enabled me to figure out what the hell I am doing, and I wish to share some of my tips and tricks with you.

The slower method is about building trust and rapport.

The best way to do this is to suggest moving away from the dating site to a more personal method of communication.

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